I used to come to this place to release the faucet. I remember feeling so much pain and sadness built up in my body. I knew I needed to go near the water, the Pacific, as I had always done since I was a teen and let some out. I knew I needed a little piece of the island's coast that I could be alone. I didn't want anyone to see my tears. At that time, only my sister, mom and papa and my dear auntie knew the unraveling starting to happen in my home.
The start of the the dissolvent of a marriage and the unfolding, awakening and healing of my soul.
It would be here I would come to unload. To pray. To feel grace. To let the size of spirit and my favorite piece of nature BE so much greater then my troubles.
To settle my soul for a little bit.
To gather some strength to carry on.
To let the salt waters join.
Today I was called to go there. I had planned to jam back home after dropping girls to their dad's house, but I awoke with a renewed hope and love. And this time, I felt called to go there, and give it back.
I went there today to just say Thank You.
To God, to angels, to guides, to this island that has surrounded my like the passé they are, and picked me back up, again. (and again, and again).
I have plenty on my plate right now, that I could let swallow me in fear. In worry. In stress. But not today. Oh no, not today.
I claim my faith and inner knowing in making best choices by the continued path of being led.
I witnessed "signs" the way they always come through, in shapes and animals for me. And right into this moment, I feel good. Flow. And covered. (please let this last longer then this day... ha!)
If you are in a valley, know it always gets better. It's gettin better all the time. It will get better. Know you are never, not ever, ever alone. Know you can get through, As long as you show up to do the work. The work of loving yourself through it. Of choosing healing, grieving, staying aware of your own self and health, instead of too much numbing and blaming, one day at a time.
There were days I was right at this spot barely able to get back home. I was dark, it was heavy and I had no idea how I was going to even get through that day. Those dark days still return, but they don't linger too long with out a quicker awakening, or reroute back to what I feel like Home. My breath. Met with truth. Reminder to "stay the course" of my best life.
One day at a time. Shit. One moment at a time. Make the decision that brings the most flow. Ease. Love. And BEing with our pain, hurts, bumps, is by far the bravest, strongest thing I have ever witnessed and done. Ever.