I can never remember where I put my keys, but I can give you lyrics from 80's 90's music alllll day.
One year ago, we shot these pics with the incredibly talented and down to earth, Michelle, of Island Reflection Photography here on Kauai. It was during a time of so much change. So much learning. So much creating new.
It's amazing to see all three of us then and see how we have each grown in just a year.
At this time, it had been about a year since the process of divorce was final ish ( if you know, you know.... paper work, the court system, finalizing your decree, the move's...) Late Summer/Early Fall of 2016 was the beginning of the ending. We shot these pics in October of 2017.
I wanted to keep taking these little steps to create two healthy homes for the girls. For me. Their dad would never take a professional family photo. Just another thing I caved in on not speaking up for. So, I called the first woman I knew I could feel a mess with on the inside, while hoping to look at least some what together on the outside. Or not, I just wanted to capture us 3, as one of their two homes. As their mama. As sisters. At 7 and 3 and, 43. Thank God for the women who can hold us up, even when they don't know it, during these times.
I cherish these pictures. I honor this time. I see the hand of God at play every step of this healing, rebuilding, discovering, restoring, remembering, growing. I had fallen to my knee's in the biggest surrender I had ever taken just weeks before. I literally cut out and waived a white flag in my flurry. Little did I know, I would hit the heaviest wave of sorrow soon after these pics.
Just weeks later I was guided to Kim Adams, of KoKua Media Design, and be one of her first clients to finally co create a efficient and reflection of me, website for my business, and yes, she NEEDED good pictures. Huh, I just took some... will these work? Uh.... THESE will make this site!
Weeks after that, I had an official holiday card I could make. Not that I am so hooked to them, but I do enjoy receiving and sending love to so many I am so far from now.
Forever I will remember this time for us 3 and for anyone else that might walk a similar path to give hope, love and compassion with . The time it takes to heal is no joke. It takes what it takes and there is no way around it. This time, at 42, 43, now 44, I decided to honor it. Still in process, but so much has scabbed over. I will continue to share those parts, and the parts that created a scar. The parts where the even the scar has healed and once in a while the woundy parts, but sometimes I get post remorse and quickly delete those. Not ready yet.
So many oils I still lean on during these years of healing through divorce, stabilizing my walk as single mother, co parent and keep my business thriving. As I re coop the many parts of my self I left out for years and awaken to new at the age, in all my roles. So many new rituals I have.
To name a few:
Lavender: all things calming
Frankincense: See, Follow Truth
Rose: Love Love Love
Vetiver: Root Down
Connection Time : AM, PM and bits through out day. Meditation- Prayer- Deep Breaths.
Oh... And Breathe Blend.
I take a deep breath now, enjoying this Saturday with my girls. And all we have grown through, together. All ready onward into another season.